My Life's Journal

My Dear Zayyan

2011-03-15T17:22:00.000+08:00

" you....decorated my life, created a world, where dreams are apart.
you decorated my life, by painting your love all over my heart.
Like a rhyme with no reason in an unfinished song,
there was no harmony, life meant nothing to me
Until you came along.
you brought out the colors & i'm able to see all the things LIFE can BE...

Kenny Rogers-U decorated my life

All i have seen teaches me to trust the creator for all i have not seen

Anniversary lg....

2010-06-15T10:59:00.005+08:00

Hajat hati da tak nak menulis...takut gak makan masa lama dan membuang masa-masa yg ada sedangkan byk bnda penting lg yg perlu di buat....tp terpanggil utk letak gmbar yg baru dapat ni....bulan mei lepas kami sekeluarga berkunjung ke kuantan, semata-mata utk ambik gmbar zayyan...kenapa?...sbbnya sejak lahir, gambar zayyan hanya di ambil menngunakan kamera talipon mommy or papa jer...kamera asyik tak beli...lupa..tunggu sale dll..zayyan hmpir umur setahun baru beli kamera, itu pun mommy dia simpan dlm laci (lupa nk pakai)...sbb da terbiasa tak ada kamera..jd sempena anniversary, dan maklum plak tak sambut bthday zayyan jd agendanya 2 dlm 1 ler...smlm, gambar yg ditunggu2 sampai jugakla masuk pigeon hole..teruja jugak la...thanks a lot ayda khamalrudin from beautconnection photography...

Anniversary ke 3

2010-05-31T13:25:00.005+08:00

hari ni 31 Mei 2010 adalah wedding anniversary saya yg ke 3 (3 tahun dah?..cepatnye)..esok plak wedding anniversary farah yg ke gak..sbb tahun 2007 dulu, saya ngn farah kawen beza satu hari jerk...kesempatan ni nk wish my dear hubby, selamat ulangtahun perkahwinan yg ke 3, semoga ikatan yg kita bina ini diberkati Allah hendaknya, semoga keluarga kami juga diberkati Allah dunia dan akhirat...mohon juga perjalanan hidup kami dipermudahkan Allah dunia & Akhirat...i miss you and LOVE you soo much...sblm lupa...nk wish gak fara & azrul in advanced, selamat ulangtahun yg ke 3...

Children Learn What They Live

2010-05-11T14:57:00.001+08:00

This is something i would like to share....betul tuh...harap2 boleh di praktikkan dekat zayyan ler. Ini daripada buku Children Learn What They Live; Parenting To Inspire Values By Dorothy Law Nolte, this is just a short poem...jadik version yg plg bagus...dapatkan buku tuh...its a good book...ada foreword drp Jack Canfield, co-author utk buku Chicken Soup For The Soul (pernah belek2 buku ni dlm bilik kak izan dulu :-) !!).

Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

happy bthday to my dearest friend !!

2010-03-18T09:34:00.006+08:00

minggu lepas hari selasa (9/3/10) bthday hidayah..kwn sama-sama blaja dulu..1st degree same2, master same2..pastuh dia keje dulu, kawin dulu, saya plak tertinggal kat belakang, lambat sikit kerja (yg bagus), kawin pun kalo xsilap, 2 tahun lps hidayah kawin baru kawin...byk yg kami kongsi, suka duka belajar, apalagi masa buat master, suka-duka, tensen-mensen,gi kuliah same2, enjoy, shopping dan jln2. It was somewhere in 2003 masa kami buat master tuh.Masa tuh hidayah pakai kereta kancil, so saya pun hari-hari menumpang pergi kuliah sama2, kebetulan kami sewa sama2 dan sebilik pulak. Suka duka tuh tak payah ckp la...bertegang urat or slh faham?..ada la skikit2, adat berkawan kan..sbb saya mungkin perangai pelik sikit..hanginnya semacam..hidayah pun spesies yg sama, tp saya sedikit lg pelik dan hangin.Masa bertegang urat rasanye tuh nak bergegar rumah flat bandar baru bangi tuh, sampai kan si ezah dan azi (housemate) pun takut. Tp kami jenis yg lepas terus, berterus terang apa yg tidak puas hati dan pastuh habis kat ctuh jer..hilang marah sume ok,..masa hangin tak baik, bertegang urat balik (ayat halus)..itu la lumrah berkawan. Kdg2 masa gaduh tuh, geram tuh sampai snggup nk pergi library n nak stadi, so pergi la naik bas srg2 (hidayah nak hantar pun tak nak!), naik bas mini, pergi perpustakaan Tun Sri Lanang tuh, stadi, then balik..lawak lak bila ingat kisah dulu...thanks for being there for me all those times, during my ups and down, sorrow. Juga setia menitipkan semangat utk diri ini semasa belajar dahulu (alhamdulillah dpt master tahun 2004), as for us?..we're still the same as before..gaduh?selisih faham?..sbb duk jauh2, dah tak de lar, kecuali kalo tinggal sebelah rumah..itu pun tak da kot...dulu zaman remaja..zaman bodoh2, benda kecik pun kecik hati dll, skang ni sbb da faham perangai msg2, xde sebab, kalo slh cakap pun, wat dek jer la sbb da tau hati msg2...abih marah sminggu jer, pastuh carik balik...plg kurang "cantik perangai"??...hahahhaah...i just wanna u to know that i respect u as a friend, sikap berterus terang anda drp dulu smpai skrg,semangat anda, fikiran positif anda..selamat hari jadi yg ke 30thn..semoga diberkati Allah dunia akhirat..sbnrnya ucapan ni kira dah belated la..mintak maaf sgt2 sbb terlupa birthday, tak pernah lg terlupa rasanya sejak kwn..tp nih tak ingat lngsung da hampir seminggu berlalu !!..sooorrrryyy...hehehhehe.....it takes me nearly 20 minutes to write this post, so i think its better for me to get going n focus on my work!

COPPA?Ph.D?

2010-01-27T15:58:00.001+08:00

COPPA?..Final Year Progress Presentation? Study Of The US Institute For Student Leaders On Global Environmental Issues?..pembetulan silibus utk program baru?..Ph.D? aduii...semua ada deadline...COPPA 4th February , FYP Baru lepas(ape2 jer al budak present td), then the US Programme?, well, it's a programme under US embassy, sort of exchange student programme...several of my students are very keen to join it. They came to find me..what should i do?..well, kesian pulak..tp bile pkir kerja byk, rasa mlsnya!!...tp bila pkir kesian, buatla..terpaksa la screen dulu borang permohonan, interview sape yg layak (mesti fluent) and thanks to Sunny Goh, sib baik dia yg tolong interview skali..then have to write recommendation letter (Sunny jugak tlg). Semua krem dlm minggu ni...lps tuh kena hantar borang permohonan through ME..huh !!..apelagi...COPPA bab 5 da hampir siap, bab 6 tak tgk lg..i really hope that i can finish it on time..pengajaran pun kena prepare, dgn 2 subjek..Ph.D?..pencarian tempat terpaksa berkubur dulu seminggu 2 ni, pertama skali sbb tumpukan pd yg penting dan ada sbb len..heheh(frust sbb reply tak berape memuaskan)..kalo email US ajer, reply and respons sgt baik..kalo selain drp tuh..mmg hampehhs...jalan hidup??..xtau lg ler..takut kalau fikir.
tak tau la...tp aku berpegang pd satu prinsip hidup...

"If it is For You, Then It IS FOR YOU",
lambat mintak ke, cepat mintak ke, kalau dah itu jalan kita dan ditetapkan utk kita oleh YG Maha Esa, ia tetap utk kita, tp utk memperolehi jalan itu, ia memerlukan kesabaran.

Tiada jln mustahil dlm hidup ini, yg penting kita sanggup berusaha, berpegang pd jalanNYA kerana menuntut ilmu itu satu jihad. Sama jugak dgn perjalanan hidup. Tiada yg mustahil, yg penting kita sanggup hadapi, jgn berfikiran negatif, seek into your heart, U'll find it !!

all in all, boleh ajer, yg ptg sentiasa bermotivasi, kuatkan semangat..tp bile sebut Ph.D...yg tuh jd lomah sket..nape ekk??...

"Follow your heart,
Let your love lead through the darkness,
back to the place you once knew,
I believe, i believe, i believe in you.."

"FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS,
BE YOURSELF,
an angel of Darkness,
THERE's NOTHING THAT YOU CANNOT DO"
I believe, i believe, i believe in you.."

I believe in myself, that i'm strong enough (doubt it?)..there she goes again...heheh..hari ni tibe2 rase mls nk smbung kerja, jadik kena break kejap..jadik tulis la blog..

sebenarnya entry kali ini adalah lebih kpd kata2 semangat utk diri sndiri.....Love you Zayyan !!

Zayyan's !st Birthday

2010-01-06T12:09:00.000+08:00

Congratulation Zayyan..!!!! My dear boy is ONE year old...rasa mcm baru aje bersalin...around 6.30am last year 6th january 2009, i finally gave birth to my baby boy...ALONE inside that horrrryfying labour room...it seems like days...inside there..walaupun i was admitted to the labour room around 12.00 am ++...then i was asked to go to the toilet..and waited for the doctor to check whether i'm dilated...kalo xsilap nama Dr tuh Dr Jefri...then dia ckp baru 2cm..and around 12.30 am check lg skali..and scan plak..tgk2 da 3 cm..& zayyan da tendang2 nak keluar..it hurts...pastuh lam nk dekat kul 1.00 am kot yg aku kena tolak masuk dlm salah satu bilik dlm labour room tuh...it was such a nice room...tp aku tak berapa bley nak enjoy sbb sakit...contraction tuh da kuat...and Dr ckp nak bg 'pethidine' (betul tak eja..really hope there are no Dr's out there who read this blog :-)) tp disebabkan ada patient lain yg ada komplikasi bersalin, semua Dr rush pergi situh..and left me with a very respectful midwife...they forgot about me...sakit sgt..then bila check balik, Dr ckp da 5 cm, so they could not give me anything..takut aku tido & baby tido skali..huh...wahhh...masa tuh kalo xsilap baru pukul 3 kot...huhu..cannot bear the pain, but i have to..lastly dlm pukul 5++ am..midwife dtg check lg..suh aku sabar n bgtau da 8cm...finally..pastuh dlm pkul 6 kot..percubaan utk bersalin bermula..kali ke 2 trus keluar..rupa2nya episiotomy (tak rase pun)..pastuh proses jahit menjahit pun bermula (mcm kain lak)..well..itu tak termasuk extended tear+vulva hematoma...darah byk gak keluar...n jahit tuh mmg amek masa lama..around 8.20 ++ kot baru siap sume..tuh pun xleh masuk ward lg..kena puasa coz takut lak if anything happens, kena tolak masuk surgery room..masa tuh xingt ape...ingt nurse angkat zayyan letak atas perut..then nurse amek mandikan..sblm jahit tuh nurse tunjuk rupa anak yg dah dibersihkan..alamak..pelik jerk rupa zayyan waktu tuh..gelap (suka minum kopi sgt kot)..mulut lebar gak...kecik jerk nmpak..tp syukur..zayyan sempurna dilahirkan sbg hamba Allah. Aku still duk dlm labour room, utk transfer darah, 2 beg gak, then dlm kul 9 ++ kot, baru papa zayyan sampai (bertuah !! baru sampai dari airport pengkalan chepa naik air asia..huhu)..muka lak blur semacam, nmpak mcm tercungap2, pastuh berpeluh2 (shariff baru pas kena marah ngn nurse coz redah jerk masuk labour room tuh kelam kabut carik bini dia !!)papa zayyan tgk jerk kat mommy..(time nih terasa syg gak hubby aku kat aku :-)..love u papa )despite all that, rase cam best gak duk dlm labour room tuh, semua nurse buat, even bersihkan badan pun nurse yg buat...tmasuk la shhhhh skali..xbgn pun...i was transfered to the 'normal' maternity ward around 9 ++ at night..proses nak bersalinnya tak lama, cuma lps bersalin tuh kena tahan around 12 hours kot inside that labour room..ok la...pengalaman yg tak dapat dilupakan..dan indah....(yg tak indahnya bila episiotomy ku terbukak hari ke-3 (4cm) and terpaksa jahit balik...n bila vulva hematoma tuh surut..aku kena jahit kali ke 3 on the 15th January 2009..huarghhhh..(to all Dr's and nurses out there..u're awesome, teruskan dedikasi anda..semoga mereka yg bekerja dgn ikhlas sntiasa drahmati Allah)

Eid Adha Mubarak & A Trip To Zoo Negara

2009-12-01T10:42:00.002+08:00

Its a 2nd day of Eid Mubarak and we're in zoo negara?...heheheh..gracious?? !! wat ape kat zoo raya2 ni?..hahahha...itu la...mesti semua org bising...kebanyakan family balik raya..when my hubby suggested that we both+zayyan berhari raya in zoo negara..it sounds weird tp pergi jer laa..we need time to spend on our own...lg plak both of us are too excited utk bawak zayyan pergi zoo..maklumla da besar..niat tuh nak kenalkan anak ngan semua haiwan yg patut dia kenal..instead of tgk tigger, piglet and pooh...surely dia ptt tgk the 'real' tigger, piglet n pooh...tp agak2...pe jd?..haha..hasrat tak kesampaian..Our Zayyan seems tak boleh nak enjoy...mungkin blur sikit and tak faham lagi...he's kind of excited tgk haiwan bergerak..but lg excited kalo tgk tram and ramai manusia kat zoo...at last?..sape agak2 yg paling excited?..mommy and papa dia la of course ;-P

My Precious

2009-11-09T15:44:00.000+08:00

tip tap tip tap....da 10 bulan zayyan rupenya...da besar rupanya...it was such a miracle, to admit that i'm now a mother...still can't believe it..waaahhhh.. it was the most precious gift from Allah... aku berdoa agar puteraku ini akan jd anak yg soleh dunia akhirat.... akhir2 ni ramai yg tnya soalan maut...bile nak smbung phd?..hahhaha...soklan tuh saya pon xleh jawab...insyaAllah...doakan yg terbaik utk kami sekeluarga ;-)

a whole new day

2009-11-09T12:08:00.000+08:00

this is the first time i own a blog....gosh.... still thinking of what to write and share...perhaps not at the moment...i'm kind busy...there's so much work to do with so little time to spend ;-)