COPPA?Ph.D?

COPPA?..Final Year Progress Presentation? Study Of The US Institute For Student Leaders On Global Environmental Issues?..pembetulan silibus utk program baru?..Ph.D? aduii...semua ada deadline...COPPA 4th February , FYP Baru lepas(ape2 jer al budak present td), then the US Programme?, well, it's a programme under US embassy, sort of exchange student programme...several of my students are very keen to join it. They came to find me..what should i do?..well, kesian pulak..tp bile pkir kerja byk, rasa mlsnya!!...tp bila pkir kesian, buatla..terpaksa la screen dulu borang permohonan, interview sape yg layak (mesti fluent) and thanks to Sunny Goh, sib baik dia yg tolong interview skali..then have to write recommendation letter (Sunny jugak tlg). Semua krem dlm minggu ni...lps tuh kena hantar borang permohonan through ME..huh !!..apelagi...COPPA bab 5 da hampir siap, bab 6 tak tgk lg..i really hope that i can finish it on time..pengajaran pun kena prepare, dgn 2 subjek..Ph.D?..pencarian tempat terpaksa berkubur dulu seminggu 2 ni, pertama skali sbb tumpukan pd yg penting dan ada sbb len..heheh(frust sbb reply tak berape memuaskan)..kalo email US ajer, reply and respons sgt baik..kalo selain drp tuh..mmg hampehhs...jalan hidup??..xtau lg ler..takut kalau fikir.
tak tau la...tp aku berpegang pd satu prinsip hidup...

"If it is For You, Then It IS FOR YOU",
lambat mintak ke, cepat mintak ke, kalau dah itu jalan kita dan ditetapkan utk kita oleh YG Maha Esa, ia tetap utk kita, tp utk memperolehi jalan itu, ia memerlukan kesabaran.

Tiada jln mustahil dlm hidup ini, yg penting kita sanggup berusaha, berpegang pd jalanNYA kerana menuntut ilmu itu satu jihad. Sama jugak dgn perjalanan hidup. Tiada yg mustahil, yg penting kita sanggup hadapi, jgn berfikiran negatif, seek into your heart, U'll find it !!

all in all, boleh ajer, yg ptg sentiasa bermotivasi, kuatkan semangat..tp bile sebut Ph.D...yg tuh jd lomah sket..nape ekk??...

"Follow your heart,
Let your love lead through the darkness,
back to the place you once knew,
I believe, i believe, i believe in you.."

"FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS,
BE YOURSELF,
an angel of Darkness,
THERE's NOTHING THAT YOU CANNOT DO"
I believe, i believe, i believe in you.."

I believe in myself, that i'm strong enough (doubt it?)..there she goes again...heheh..hari ni tibe2 rase mls nk smbung kerja, jadik kena break kejap..jadik tulis la blog..

sebenarnya entry kali ini adalah lebih kpd kata2 semangat utk diri sndiri.....Love you Zayyan !!

Zayyan's !st Birthday

Congratulation Zayyan..!!!! My dear boy is ONE year old...rasa mcm baru aje bersalin...around 6.30am last year 6th january 2009, i finally gave birth to my baby boy...ALONE inside that horrrryfying labour room...it seems like days...inside there..walaupun i was admitted to the labour room around 12.00 am ++...then i was asked to go to the toilet..and waited for the doctor to check whether i'm dilated...kalo xsilap nama Dr tuh Dr Jefri...then dia ckp baru 2cm..and around 12.30 am check lg skali..and scan plak..tgk2 da 3 cm..& zayyan da tendang2 nak keluar..it hurts...pastuh lam nk dekat kul 1.00 am kot yg aku kena tolak masuk dlm salah satu bilik dlm labour room tuh...it was such a nice room...tp aku tak berapa bley nak enjoy sbb sakit...contraction tuh da kuat...and Dr ckp nak bg 'pethidine' (betul tak eja..really hope there are no Dr's out there who read this blog :-)) tp disebabkan ada patient lain yg ada komplikasi bersalin, semua Dr rush pergi situh..and left me with a very respectful midwife...they forgot about me...sakit sgt..then bila check balik, Dr ckp da 5 cm, so they could not give me anything..takut aku tido & baby tido skali..huh...wahhh...masa tuh kalo xsilap baru pukul 3 kot...huhu..cannot bear the pain, but i have to..lastly dlm pukul 5++ am..midwife dtg check lg..suh aku sabar n bgtau da 8cm...finally..pastuh dlm pkul 6 kot..percubaan utk bersalin bermula..kali ke 2 trus keluar..rupa2nya episiotomy (tak rase pun)..pastuh proses jahit menjahit pun bermula (mcm kain lak)..well..itu tak termasuk extended tear+vulva hematoma...darah byk gak keluar...n jahit tuh mmg amek masa lama..around 8.20 ++ kot baru siap sume..tuh pun xleh masuk ward lg..kena puasa coz takut lak if anything happens, kena tolak masuk surgery room..masa tuh xingt ape...ingt nurse angkat zayyan letak atas perut..then nurse amek mandikan..sblm jahit tuh nurse tunjuk rupa anak yg dah dibersihkan..alamak..pelik jerk rupa zayyan waktu tuh..gelap (suka minum kopi sgt kot)..mulut lebar gak...kecik jerk nmpak..tp syukur..zayyan sempurna dilahirkan sbg hamba Allah. Aku still duk dlm labour room, utk transfer darah, 2 beg gak, then dlm kul 9 ++ kot, baru papa zayyan sampai (bertuah !! baru sampai dari airport pengkalan chepa naik air asia..huhu)..muka lak blur semacam, nmpak mcm tercungap2, pastuh berpeluh2 (shariff baru pas kena marah ngn nurse coz redah jerk masuk labour room tuh kelam kabut carik bini dia !!)papa zayyan tgk jerk kat mommy..(time nih terasa syg gak hubby aku kat aku :-)..love u papa )despite all that, rase cam best gak duk dlm labour room tuh, semua nurse buat, even bersihkan badan pun nurse yg buat...tmasuk la shhhhh skali..xbgn pun...i was transfered to the 'normal' maternity ward around 9 ++ at night..proses nak bersalinnya tak lama, cuma lps bersalin tuh kena tahan around 12 hours kot inside that labour room..ok la...pengalaman yg tak dapat dilupakan..dan indah....(yg tak indahnya bila episiotomy ku terbukak hari ke-3 (4cm) and terpaksa jahit balik...n bila vulva hematoma tuh surut..aku kena jahit kali ke 3 on the 15th January 2009..huarghhhh..(to all Dr's and nurses out there..u're awesome, teruskan dedikasi anda..semoga mereka yg bekerja dgn ikhlas sntiasa drahmati Allah)